Interview Tips: Things Not to Say in a Job Interview
When we are preparing for an interview, we tend to focus on what to say. Yet what not to say is equally important. The damage the things-not-to-say do to the outcome of the interview varies: from an instant "death" to mild nuisance. This article distinguishes between four what-not-to-say categories and suggests solutions.
The most powerful tool that we have when we pitch or interview is our communication: the words we say, the stories we tell, the way we listen and engage with the audience, the non-verbal cues we are sending, the confidence we are projecting.
When we prepare for an interview, we tend to focus on WHAT TO SAY. Yet WHAT NOT TO SAY is equally important. The Internet is full of lists of things-not-to-say-during-a-job-interview. Do we really need one more here? Well, the lists I came across were interesting yet random. However, the damage different things-not-to-say do to the outcome of the interview varies: from an instant "death" to mild nuisance. I distinguish between the following four groups, ranked from the most serious to the mildest “offense”:
deal breakers,
self-made beta-traps,
meaning polluters
overused clichés
Deal Breakers
These are "game over" mistakes. You don't get a second life in an interview game. The minute you made one of those mistakes, you have blown your interview, you are "dead". The interview can still last, but it is just a matter of the interviewer being polite. The decision to reject you is already made and chances of getting a second life are close to 0.
We all have our own list of deal-breakers. Here is mine:
Neediness
Neediness is a number one interview killer - find out here how it shows and how you can avoid it.
Negativity
Negativity kills the good vibe that we want to reign for the entire interview. Negativity raises eyebrows and questions. Please avoid the following:
"It was horrible/terrible/awful… "
"I hate…"
Speaking badly about the previous company, boss, colleagues
Stereotyping people negatively by their origins; racist remarks etc.
"Fired": this word just instantly raises red flags. If you have such an episode in your career, you need to do a lot of diplomacy and damage control around it in an interview. My view is that you talk about it only if specifically asked, use "let go" instead, and immediately focus on positives: how you have evolved since which positive lessons you have learned.
Profanity
Allow me to leave this section free from examples and simply say: don't curse in an interview.
Full disclosure: I occasionally curse. As superfoods are packed with nutrients, f-bombs and the like can be packed with layers of meaning, emotions, and calls to action. I just use them sparingly and never in a professional setting: while it's possible to swear with gusto, it’s impossible to do it with grace and elegance.
Egocentricity
The interview is not about us, it's about the benefits the interviewer gets from hiring us. Keep the questions of benefits that YOU will get from being hired to later stages of the hiring process.
"I, Me" - ban not the word, but the overuse of it
"I am here to learn". While it is obvious that you will have to learn on the job, the expectation is that you are here not just to learn, but to deliver.
"Work-life balance" - don’t mention it as such in the interview unless asked. Do your homework before the interview. If it appears that the work-life balance you wish to have is impossible to achieve in this role, then why are you applying? Also, If you are really an exceptionally great fit for the role, chances are that you will have more possibilities to negotiate on your terms.
Money and Benefits: the early stage of the hiring process are not about discussing money & perks
Any personal issues - sickness, pregnancy, kids, etc. As someone with a big family, I acknowledge it's a delicate topic. My take is that during the interviews, first and foremost we need to see if there is a fit. Mentioning personal issues earlier and without being asked will just scare away the interviewer. If there is a fit and strong interest in hiring you, you will need to bring these things out in the open. But not before having established that there is mutual interest and fit.
Arrogance & Unsolicited Advice
I still remember one interview failure when I came with a "know-it-all" approach, giving advice without being asked and even without having asked good questions. Arrogance often goes hand in hand with poor listening. Please avoid the following:
"You should / You shouldn't" - you are neither a consultant nor work there yet. Instead, you can say something like "in my experience, the following has worked…"
"It's on my resume"
Asking no questions in an interview is also a form of arrogance or indifference. Either you are too scared or too lazy - neither makes you a good person for the role.
2. Self-Made Beta Traps
An interview is social interaction, and your social status - not a generic social status, but a situational social status in this very interview - matters a great deal. Any verbal exchange or subtle ritual that puts you in a subordinate position will damage your status and thus will put you in a less favorable position. To take the definition from "Pitch Anything",
a beta trap is a subtle but effective social ritual that puts you in the low status position and works to keep you there, beneath the decision-maker you have come to visit, for the entire duration of the social interaction. The first step toward elevating your social status is to avoid the beta traps". Avoiding beta traps made by others is one thing, but we also need to avoid creating beta traps ourselves. Here are the most common self-made beta traps that lower your status and show you as indecisive and lacking confidence.
Here are the most common self-made beta traps that lower your status and show you as indecisive and lacking confidence.
Self-deprecation, Apologies, and Hedges
"I don’t have much experience" - play with the cards you have. Focus on your strengths & achievements (link)
Speaking about failures, weaknesses, mistakes unless specifically asked about. If asked, focus on what you learned from the failure and how things have improved since.
Hedges: "I hope it's fine for you", "In my opinion", "I may be wrong but…", "I just", etc. The weaker your judgment, the more you hedge. But as a result, you appear as someone who doubts her own words. Especially when you are unsure of yourself, you have to take away those hedges completely. If there is real uncertainty, say "It seems that…"
"I feel very nervous". So what?
Verbal and non-verbal tags
Tags turn clear statements into question, don’t they? You show up as less confident and lower your status.
"Isn't it?", "Don’t you think?", "Right?", "Ok?", "You see what I'm saying?"
Non-verbal tags: rising tone, nervous laughter at the end of the sentence.
Please avoid the tags. End your sentences with confident falling voice inflection.
3. Meaning Polluters
These are words that at best do not add meaning to a sentence or at worst obscure its meaning. You appear less confident. We use these words when we are nervous and unsure, and as a result, sound even more nervous and unsure. The first step in getting rid of meaning polluters is to become aware of them. Record yourself and see what you notice. If you're a serial offender, engage a friend or a colleague to be your “police”.
Filler words
When we are nervous and unsure, we tend to speak fast. And when we speak fast, we need to fill the space while our thoughts are still catching up.
Um, so, like, you know, ok, right, actually, I think, just, literally, kind of, basically
To combat filler words, please think before you speak. Take a breath. Pause.
Weasel words
As defined in "Writing without Bullshit",
a weasel word is an adjective, adverb, or a noun that indicates quantity or intensity, but lacks precision. Grammatically, they are qualifiers or intensifiers. They create an impression of content but say nothing. When a single sentence includes "most", "probably", and "a few", you know it's bullshit.
Generally, Considerably, Excellent, really, very, probably, possibly, some, incredible, essential, many, quite, pretty much, a great deal, a little, a bit, just, some
Sure, stuff, things
Leading, advanced, meaningful, sophisticated, large, deep, seamless, end-to-end, strategic
“Like, enjoy” - Ok, you say like or enjoy something, but tell us more how GOOD you are at it!
Replace a qualifier with a concrete number wherever possible. Otherwise, remove it completely. Let go of buzzwords that are there just for decoration.
Jargon & Abbreviations
Jargon is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, we need to master industry vocabulary. It's especially important when we change careers. On the other hand, what we say should be clear even to a layman person.
I am not suggesting we should avoid the jargon completely (by the way, there is a beautifully illustrated book "Thing Explainer" that does precisely that. Can you guess what is meant by "hole-making city boat"? "staff in the earth we can burn"? "sky boat with turning wings"?). I am saying we should always keep the audience in mind and limit jargon to what is absolutely necessary.
Passive Voice
Passive voice is one of the biggest meaning polluters because it obscures who does what and adds uncertainty and doubt. Please avoid using passive voice when you tell about your work. Instead of "The work was completed in 2 weeks instead of 2 months", say "The project timeline was 2 months. I completed the work in record 2 weeks."
4. Overused Clichés
We are all sinners of having overused these words so much that they have become clichés.
Please avoid them - follow the "Show, Don't Tell" principle, and be more specific and creative.
Overused clichés & buzzwords
Dedicated,
Motivated
Enthusiastic
Team player
Self-starter
Perfectionist
Out of the box thinker
Thought Leader
Overused positives reactions
Try to be more creative, please. Don’t just react with "It's amazing!" or "It's exciting". Highlight the impact that the achievement is going to have or the problem it has solved.
ACTION: register your interview preparation session. Watch to see if you have ever said any of the things not to say. Remove them. Repeat what you said but without them, and enjoy the effect!