#24 - On Missteps and Mistakes
Hello,
My life story started with a faux pas. A misstep. Literally. Imagine downtown St. Petersburg (then Leningrad). Bright September evening, fresh air, blue sky, golden leaves, golden hour, a beautiful historical building, occupied by a research institute. A small crowd of young graduates who joined on that day are getting out through a heavy wooden rotating door. Two of them - a tall bespectacled young guy and a petite enthusiastic girl - get stuck within, and the guy steps, quite heavily, on the girl’s foot. Ouch! Whether it was an accident or a careful plan, we don’t know. What we know is that on that golden evening the guy profusely apologised and offered to walk the girl home, and then again and again. The rest is history. A long and happy marriage. Twin daughters born several years after the misstep. I am one of them.
This newsletter is about mistakes and missteps. Some missteps turn out to be happy accidents, like in my parents’ love story. Some mistakes lead to accidental discoveries. Other mistakes cause significant damage or even life loss. How we go about the mistakes we made and what we learn from them is also of utmost importance.
So why do we encourage some mistakes? How can we avoid others at all costs? Can we transform mistakes into something good? What are the good ways to repair the damage and learn from a mistake? Here are a few resources that help answer these questions.
Book Recommendation: The Checklist Manifesto
Very broadly, there are three kinds of problems in the world.
The simple. Baking a cake. There is a recipe. Follow it and you will succeed.
The complicated. Sending a rocket to the moon. They can be broken into a series of simple problems but there is no straightforward recipes. Timing and coordination are of utmost importance.
The complex. Raising a child. Expertise is valuable but not sufficient, as every case is unique, and the outcome is highly uncertain.
There is a ridiculously simple, crazily inexpensive solution that can help us (1) get the simple and stupid stuff right and (2) give us discipline to communicate and collaborate on complicated and complex problems: a checklist. A checklist improves the outcome without increase in skill. The book by Atul Gawande is about why checklists work, how to build good ones and why their implementation meets so much resistance.
App Recommendation: Way of Life
There are things we want to do do day in, day out. Good habits. Small things that, compounded over time, can result in a healthy and happy life. These routines help us stay healthy, stay fit, stay sane, stay connected.
And then, there are things we want to avoid doing. Bad habits that prevent us from staying healthy, staying fit, staying sane, staying connected.
Way of Life app is visual, easy-to-use, simple and fast. it helps build and maintain good habits and break bad ones.
It takes a few minutes to build your checklist. As for me, I put there not only the typical stuff (like my fitness and beauty routines), but also other things that matter to me: did I meditate? Did I raise my voice? Have I been impatient? Did I spend time with the family, individually with each of our kids? did I call my parents? Did I write or call to my friends, my network? Did I argue for unimportant things?
It takes just a few seconds to go through this “checklist” during the day and track your actions. You can configure reminders (I don’t use it) and take notes with the diary function to jot down what triggered a bad habit. I might not do the right stuff every day, but at least I can be aware.
The most powerful thing about this app is that you get a bigger picture over weeks, months or years, easily spot trends and think of what you need to change.
Strongly recommend it.
Book Recommendation: The Art of Possibility
I have recommended countless times this book by Benjamin Zander and Rosamund Stone Zander. Today I’m bringing it up again because it talks, among other things, about the mistakes we HAVE to make and CHEERFULLY EMBRACE.
When we are learning a skill or pursuing any creative endeavour (this includes entrepreneurship), mistakes are part of the playbook.
The art of music, since it can only be conveyed through its interpreters, depends on expressive performance for its lifeblood. Yet it is only when we make mistakes in performance that we can really begin to notice what needs attention. In fact, I actively train my students that when they make a mistake, they are to lift their arms in the air, smile, and say, “How Fascinating!” I recommend that everyone tries this.
Another example when we encourage mistakes: juggling. The very first steps in juggling involve dropping the ball.
Transform Mistakes into Limited Editions
What follows a mistake is as interesting as what has caused a mistake.
Three short stories here.
I have a wonderful colleague in Hong Kong whose English name was misspelled on her first day at school by her primary school teacher. She decided to keep the misspelled version (which also has a nice meaning, but is not a typical first name). Now you can be sure that she is the one and only and her name gets remembered easily.
Some brands intentionally misspell their names to make the brand names unique. Human brain remembers unique things for longer.
Some mistakes can be transformed into limited editions. Read here to learn how IKEA in Singapore has recently decided to go about thousands of misprinted reusable bags.
The AAAAArt of Mistake Making
I had to come across this podcast with Denny Meyer to get the best advice on handling your honest mistakes.
That's what I like to do with mistake making. And it's like, all right, as long as it's an honest mistake. I have zero patience whatsoever for dishonest mistakes. But an honest mistake, it's like, great, let's use it to our advantage. Let's learn from it. Let's own it. Let's name it. Let's teach from it. Let's employ what I call the five A's of mistake making, which are, be aware you made it. That's A number one. You wouldn't believe how many mistakes get made where you didn't even know you made it. So be aware. Number two, acknowledge it. Number three, apologize for it. Number four, act to fix it. And number five, apply additional generosity. Those are the five A's of mistake making.
Stay healthy, stay fit, stay sane, stay connected, make your mistakes well,
Arina
Illustration: Behance.net - the meaning of ОШИБАЙСЯ!, artfully misspelled here, is “Make Mistakes!”