#53 - In The Eye of the Storm
Hello,
The Eye of the Storm is the center and ... the calmest part of it! A recent LinkedIn post about the passage of Typhoon Chaba reminded me of this paradoxical fact. I thought: What a beautiful metaphor!
We may not always find a safe, quiet place amidst the storm if we just look around. But we can always create quiet time and space inside our minds. And this quiet core can help weather the craziest of storms.
This week's newsletter goes against any advice on how to do more and faster. Instead, it is about stopping, doing nothing, getting bored, and practicing the art of stillness. Often, all it takes is just 10 mindful minutes.
Have a HIGH-STAKES PRESENTATION/NEGOTIATION soon? Please take the final hour before it to RELAX: this is a secret from top college students and athletes (shared by Cal Newport)
LEARN TO STOP. Stop even (or especially) when you have nothing to run after or nothing to fear. (wisdom from Vietnamese Buddhist Zen Master and poet Thich Nhat Hanh)
GET BORED. Boredom, never really acceptable, is often a mnecessary prelude to a period of intense creativity (practical wisdom from Manfred Kets de Vries)
PRACTICE THE ART OF STILLNESS. In an age of constant movement, nothing is more urgent than sitting still (poetic musings by Pico Ayer, inspired by life, music, and poetry of Leonard Cohen)
ALL IT TAKES IS 10 MINDFUL MINUTES. One of the best TED talks ever and definitely the best use of props in a presentation (by Headspace founder Andy Puddicombe)
THIS WEEK'S PLAYLIST: a piece that I guarantee will make the worst of flight turbulence feel beautiful & a wonderful 2-minute song/poem/meditation - all in one, and in French - on paradox and beauty of being human.
Relax Before a High-Stakes Presentation
I found this piece of wisdom in a book about winning at college that I've recently offered to my eldest son. Though it speaks about the last hour before an exam, I believe it relates just as much to a need for relaxation just before any important presentation or high-stakes negotiation. After you put in the preparation time, you have to put in the relaxation time.
"The typical exam tests two things: your ability to demonstrate an understanding of complicated material and your ability to recall and synthesize this information under pressure. It's not just what you know, but also how well you can explain what you know in short, hectic bursts. This means that after you put in the study time to learn the material, you have to put in the relaxation time needed to prepare your mind to operate under pressure. Some believe it's beneficial to maintain "intellectual momentum" by studying right up until the testing begins. This is not true. Such an approach releases too much adrenaline, which makes you jittery and unfocused. The best state for your mind to be in is confident and calm. "
Source: How to Win at College, by Cal Newport
Use the hour before a high-stakes situation to relax.
Learn to Stop
"The practice of meditation offered by the Buddha has two parts: stopping and looking deeply. The first part of meditation is stopping. If you're like most of us, since you were born, you've been running. Now it's a strong habit that many generations of your ancestors also had before you and transmitted to you - the habit of running, being tense, and being carried away by many things, so that your mind is not totally, deeply, peacefully in the present moment. You get accustomed to looking at things in a very superficial way and being carried away by wrong perceptions and the negative emotions that result. This leads to behaving wrongly and making life miserable.
The practice is to train yourself to stop - stop running after all these things. Even if you don't have irritation, anger, fear, or despair, you're still running with this or that project, or this or that line of thinking, and you're not at peace. So even (or especially) at those times when you have no problem at all, train yourself to be here, to be relaxed, to stop, to come back to the wonders of the present moment.
When your mind is still, you see things deeply. If you really practice stopping, then you don't need to practice looking deeply, because you'll be seeing things deeply already. Stopping and looking deeply are one; they're two aspects of the same reality. If you're focused on something important, that forces your mind to be concentrated, and when you're concentrated, you're stopping and looking deeply."
Source: Fear: Essential Wisdom of Getting Through the Storm, by Thich That Hanh
Do Nothing. Get Bored
"Doing nothing has never really been acceptable. We associate it with irresponsibility, wasting our life. Most of us feel guilty if we don’t have something to do. On the other hand, we get a buzz when we feel really busy. Distraction-inducing behaviors like constantly checking email stimulate the brain to shoot dopamine into the bloodstream giving us a rush that can make stopping so much harder.
The danger is we may lose our connections, not just with one another but with ourselves. If we don’t allow ourselves periods of uninterrupted, freely associated thought then personal growth, insight and creativity are less likely to emerge (...)
Doing nothing and boredom are closely intertwined. While most of us find it hard to tolerate in many instances boredom can be a prelude to something. It can trigger our imagination and creativity. In a sense, boredom can be seen as a liminal space, a critical resource that pushes us to seek the unfamiliar.
Three ways to make time for doing nothing
1. Maintain relationships
We need meaningful contact with people to feel fully alive. Maintaining our relationships needs interaction, engagement and time out.
2. Saying No
Being able to say no is one of the most useful skills we can develop. Saying no is not necessarily selfish and saying yes to every request is not healthy. Saying no to unimportant requests can free up time for more important things.
3. Managing sleep habits
In a perfect world we should all sleep eight hours a night. Sleep is essential for personal growth and creativity. Poor sleeping habits are proof we haven’t stepped off the treadmill of busyness."
Source: The Importance of Doing Nothing, by Manfred Kets de Vries
Practice the Art of Stillness
A wonderful short musing on the importance of "going nowhere", steeped in the life, poetry, and music of Leonard Cohen.
"Few of us have the chance to step out of our daily lives often, or for very long; Nowhere has to become somewhere we visit in the corners of our lives by taking a daily run or going fishing or just sitting quietly for thirty minutes every morning. The point of gathering stillness is not to enrich the sanctuary or mountaintop but to bring that calm into the motion, the commotion of the world...
In an age of speed, nothing could be more invigorating than going slow.
In an age of distraction, nothing can feel more luxurious than paying attention.
In an age of constant movement, nothing is more urgent than sitting still."
Source: The Art of Stillness: Adventures in Going Nowhere
All It Takes Is 10 Mindful Minutes
This is one of the best TED Talks ever. And the absolute best, masterful use of props in a presentation.
"When is the last time you did absolutely nothing for 10 whole minutes? Not texting, talking or even thinking? Mindfulness expert Andy Puddicombe describes the transformative power of doing just that: Refreshing your mind for 10 minutes a day, simply by being mindful and experiencing the present moment. (No need for incense or sitting in strange positions.)"
This Week's Playlist - Storm and Calm
If you keep this track handy before a long-haul flight - I guarantee, it will make the worst of turbulences feel beautiful. Presto - Tempo impetuoso e' estate. From Vivaldi's Four Seasons, my preferred version, by Gidon Kremer.
A beautiful song - and is also a poem, a prayer, and a meditation - in French - on being human. Horizon, by One Republic. Sublime. "Nous aimons, nous vivons, nous esperons, nous perseverons. Ne sommes-nous pas tout simplement humains?"