#33 - The Most Important Thing
What is the one thing you should be doing right now?
Strange thing: through most of the pandemic, I have been keeping upbeat. Then, all of a sudden, during the past few weeks I felt beaten up. Drained and depleted. How to keep going when the vibe is not there? When every day seems like a Groundhog Day? When the "play" button seems forever stuck, yet the last thing I want is to fake the positivity? This newsletter has a few ideas that I found interesting and helpful to keep going.
Adam Grant: How to stop languishing and start finding flow | TED Talk
"I wasn't depressed. I still had hope. Wasn't burned out, had energy. Wasn't lonely, I was with my family. I just felt a little bit aimless and a little bit joyless. Eventually, I remembered there's a name for that feeling: languishing. Languishing as a sense of emptiness, stagnation and ennui."
The solution, Adam Grant suggests, is finding flow, a feeling of being in the zone, absorbed in an activity. And to get the flow, he suggests looking for a constellation of three things: "mastery, mindfulness, and mattering". He found his flows in a simple activity of playing Mario Kart with his kids. He encourages everyone to look for mastery and mindfulness with the people that matter.
While I found this call pretty compelling, I also noticed that I just did not feel like looking for flow... Coincidentally, I came across a better word that described what I feel. And accept not being willing to be upbeat. And stop trying to flourish, rain or shine.
I'm not languishing, I'm dormant - Austin Kleon
Here comes someone who disliked the very concept of languishing.
I disliked the term “languishing” the minute I heard it. I’m not languishing, I’m dormant. Like a plant. Or a volcano. I am waiting to be activated.
I found Austin Kleon's comparison of the terms "languishing" and "dormant" quite telling:
languish: To be or become weak or feeble; lose strength or vigor. To exist or continue in miserable or disheartening conditions.
dormant: Not awake; asleep. Present but not active or manifest though capable of becoming so. Temporarily inactive. Being in a condition of biological rest or inactivity characterized by cessation of growth or development and the suspension of many metabolic processes.
It seems to me that the reason that so many of us feel like we’re languishing is that we are trying to flourish in terrible conditions... if you try to wake a plant out of dormancy too soon, it will wither, and maybe die... I’m not languishing because I’m not trying to flourish. .. It is a mistake and a misreading of nature to think that you, a living creature, will be flourishing all the days of your life.
Is it possible to be dormant and keep going? Stop trying to do it all. Focus on what matters the most, on the vital few. Do less but better. The book I came across this week is just about that.
Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less
Once you give yourself permission to stop trying to do it all, to stop saying yes to everyone, can you make your highest contribution towards the things that really matter. If you don't prioritize your life, someone else will.
My key takeaways from this book:
A choice is not a thing, it's an action.
The Law of the Vital Few
There are no solutions. There are only trade-offs.
Our highest priority is to protect our ability to prioritize.
If it's not a clear yes, then it's a clear no.
The importance of the essential intent: inspirational x concrete
8 graceful ways to say "no"
Reverse pilot: removing or scaling back an activity for a few days or weeks and see what happens.
Escape. Look. Play. Sleep. Select.
Everything I do is the most important thing I do - Mads Mikkelsen, In Conversation (vulture.com)
Words of wisdom from a dancer turned actor who takes everything and nothing seriously.
My approach to what I do in my job — and it might even be the approach to my life — is that everything I do is the most important thing I do. Whether it’s a play or the next film. It is the most important thing. I know it’s not going to be the most important thing, and it might not be close to being the best, but I have to make it the most important thing. That means I will be ambitious with my job and not with my career. That’s a very big difference, because if I’m ambitious with my career, everything I do now is just stepping-stones leading to something — a goal I might never reach, and so everything will be disappointing. But if I make everything important, then eventually it will become a career. Big or small, we don’t know. But at least everything was important.
The Observer Effect – Daniel Ek
This interview with a very unconventional CEO is full of great ideas - on good meetings, being intentional with time, on delegating, working in flow, learning as a personal habit
His philosophy of being intentional with time struck really struck a chord with me.
Candidly, that’s my role as leader: to coach others on how best to make use of their limited time. Not only is time the most precious resource the company has, it’s also the most precious resource they have! It’s crucial that they approach the use of their time with a holistic perspective. By way of example, I had a recent call with one of my directors who had not taken a vacation in six months. Our conversation delved into why this person thought that they could not be away for two weeks, and me arguing for why the person had to take two weeks to recharge!
There is never enough time – for work, for family and friends – and it takes work to make the best use of it. It's all about fostering a holistic perspective in life.
And I share his habit to go for a walk in order to find a state of flow:
The basic gist is we all have our moments when we're the most inspired, right? Whether that’s when we're driving our car, whether it's showering, or whether we're listening to something and we get an idea.
For me, as I said, that often happens on my walks. I find those moments to be the most valuable ones. I will say, nine times out of ten nothing comes of them, because the idea turns out not to be that great. But that one time where it is great, it truly changes business.
Last but not least, in this interview, I learned about another CEO-philosopher whose "to-do lists" philosophy made me improve mine.
To-Do List Philosophy - Shishir Mehrotra, Coda's CEO
To-Do Lists are personal. While I did not revamp my to-do list to fully match Shishir Mehrotra's philosophy, there are few ideas that I found great and tweaked into my to-do.
Eat Your Frog First: what's the most unpleasant task you must do today? do it first.
Focus on the next action. I like his approach of task list being actually a project list. And every project has actions that have already been accomplished, the Next Action, and Future Actions. The philosophy, that comes from GTD method, encourages us to focus on the Next Action.
Don't set up too many piles - the more piles you have, the more time you'll spend piling. I've created only 6 - Work BAU, Work projects, People, Side Projects, Learning, and Personal.
And when nothing else works...
...music works. On a hard day's night, I simply listen to the music or sit down and practice the piano. Even if I am not good at it, the practice never fails to absorb me fully. And makes the fatigue and worries of the day fade away. The link is to the performances of one of my favorite musicians, Khatia Buniatishvili, an endless source of inspiration.
Stay healthy, be dormant rather than languishing and do the most important thing,
Arina
Illustration: 53th Montreux Jazz Festival Posters by Ignasi Monreal