Mindset
There are two mindsets - two strong and contrasting beliefs - that have a powerful impact on how we see ourselves and others, how we act and react, how we build relationships, how we live our life. The fixed mindset is a belief that our qualities are fixed in stone; it often leads to judgment, comparison, and blame. The growth mindset is a belief that everyone can get better through effort; it focuses on learning and growth and does not let failure or stereotypes define us.
"Mindset: Changing the Way You Think To Fulfil Your Potential" by Carol Dweck is both simple and powerful. First, it introduces the two mindsets - in a way that will make you immediately recognize yourself in one of the two. Then it deepens the contrast between the two mindsets by telling stories how each of them show in sport, business, personal relationships, parenting. And every time, the advantages of the growth mindset become clearer.
Mindsets are just beliefs, they are mental models. We can have a mix of both, but usually one dominates. And because mindsets are just mental constructs, it means that we can change our minds.
At the end of every chapter, the author offers ideas, questions and exercises to get you from the world of measurement and judgment of the fixed mindset to the realm of possibility that the growth mindset offers.
Will the growth mindset solve all our problems? No, it won’t. But it can make us more open to possibility, more courageous to act. It can make us better and our life richer.
My Key Takeaways:
The fixed mindset is a belief that your qualities are carved in stone, your personal traits are fixed. It creates an urgency to succeed, to prove yourself over and over. Every situation is a call to prove how great you are. Every situation is an occasion of being judged.
The growth mindset is a belief that our basic qualities are things we can cultivate through our efforts. Although people may differ in every which way—in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments—everyone can get better - better than yourself yesterday. The growth mindset is oriented to learning.
Mindsets are just beliefs. They are powerful beliefs. But they're just something in your mind, and you can change your mind. Just by knowing about the two mindsets, you can start thinking and reacting in new ways.
Success & failure: People with the fixed mindset feel the urgency to succeed. When they do, they may feel superior to other people. But failure can be a heavy blow to their self-esteem, transforming and action (I failed) to an identity (I am a failure). For the fixed mindset, everything is about the outcome. A loser is forever. For people with the growth mindset, neither success or failure defines them. Both are opportunities to learn and get better. Putting a failure in a growth-mindset perspective means asking: what can I learn from the experience? How can I use it as a basis for growth? The growth mindset allows people to value what they're doing regardless of the outcome. Many growth-minded people didn't even plan to go to the top. They did not feel the need to prove themselves. They just did what they loved - with tremendous drive and enthusiasm - and it led where it led.
Potential: The fixed mindset creates the feeling that you cam really know the permanent truth about yourself and your potential. You can simply measure your or someone else's ability now, and project it into the future. So why bother trying if you don’t have the talent? The fixed mindset limits achievement and leads to inferior learning strategies. For the growth mindset, our potential is unknown and unknowable and we can do a lot with effort. It does not mean that we should aim to change for better in every aspect and not accept our imperfections, especially if they are not harmful to others.
Ability, effort and accomplishment: Test scores and measures of achievement tell you what a student / employee is, but they don't tell you where a student / employee could end up. In the fixed mindset, effort is not a cause for pride. It is something that casts doubt on your talent.
Labels and stereotypes: When we label our kids or colleagues, we are not helping them, even though we might be praising them. Negative labels and stereotypes do not disrupt people with the growth mindset. Their heads are not filled with limiting thoughts, a fragile sense of belonging, and a belief that other people can define them.
Mindsets and leadership: When people with the fixed mindset are put in charge of companies, a brilliant man puts his company in jeopardy because measuring himself and his legacy outweighed everything else. Growth-mindset leaders, instead of using the company as a vehicle for their greatness, they used it as an engine for growth - for themselves, the employees, and the company as a whole.
Mindsets and management: Fixed-mindset managers do not believe in personal change. They simply look for existing talent - they judge employees as competent and incompetent at the start and that's that. They do relatively little developmental coaching and when employees do improve, they may fail to take notice, remaining stuck in their initial impression. Growth-mindset managers embody a zest for teaching and learning, an oppenness to giving and receiving feedback, and an ability to confront and surmount obstacles. Everyone, of whatever age and circumstance, is capable of self-transformation.
Mindsets and personal relationships: the fixed mindset in relationships means not only that your own personal qualities are fixed, but also those of your partner and your relationship - all three are up for judgement. Two problems with the fixed mindset in the relationships: (1) if you have to work at it, it wasn't meant to be. People with the fixed mindset expect all the good things to happen automatically. This belief that a successful relationship should not need effort robs people of the very things they need to make their relationship thrive. A no-effort relationship is a doomed relationship, not a great relationship. (2) problems indicate character flaws. When people with the fixed mindset have conflicts, they tend to assign blame, often to their partner. This provokes anger and disgust. For the growth mindset, you realize that you control half of the relationship - yours, and not enter into competition of who is the greatest.
Mindsets and parenting: our every word and action sends a message. It tells children how to think about themselves. The fixed mindset message says: you have permanent traits and I am judging them. The growth mindset message says: you are a developing person and I am interested in your development. Praising our children's brains and talent often has an opposite effect: it makes children doubt themselves as soon as anything is hard or anything goes wrong. Rather than protecting children from failure and making them slaves of praise, it's better to make them love challenges, be intrigued by mistake, enjoy effort and keep on learning.
Changing mindsets. The first step to change is to realise that there are two mindsets and observe own behaviour and reactions. Change isn't like surgery. Even when you change, the old beliefs aren’t just removed, they take place alongside the old ones, and as they become stronger, they give you a different way to think, feel and act. For the change, vowing us often useless. What works is making a vivid, concrete plan, a plan that you can visualize. Will change to a growth mindset solve all your problems? No. But it can make you more alive, more courageous and open, and your life - richer.