Indistractable
We have a choice: let others control and coerce our attention against our best interests, or be indistractable and do what we say we will do. “Indistractable” by Nir Eyal is not about digital detox. It’s not about labeling tech as evil. Instead, it starts by recognizing that the distraction starts from within and offers four strategies for being indistractable.
Introduction
Technology: "When you invent the ship, you also invent the shipwreck" (Paul Virilio)
In the future, there will be two kinds of people in the world: those who let their attention and lives be controlled and coerced by others, and those who proudly call themselves indistractable.
The book is a step to owning your time and your future. The antidote to impulsiveness is forethoughts.
Chapter 1: What's Your Superpower?
Living the life you want requires not only doing the right things but also avoiding doing the wrong things.
We already know what to do: what we don't know is how to stop getting distracted.
The problem is deeper than tech. Being indistractable isn't about being a Luddite. It's about understanding the real reasons why we do things against our best interests.
We can be indistractable by learning and adopting four key strategies:
The first step is to recognize that distraction starts from within.
The second step is to make time for the things you really want to do. You can't call something a 'distraction' unless you know what it is distracting you from.
The third step is to examine the unwanted internal triggers that hamper our attention and productivity and diminish our well-being.
The last step is to make pacts that help ensure we do what we say we're going to do.
Chapter 2: Being Indistractable
Tantalus' curse - forever reaching for something. We are constantly reaching for something too: more money, more experiences, more knowledge, more status, more stuff. The curse is not that Tantalus spends all eternity for things just out of reach, but rather his obliviousness to the greater folly of his actions, his blindness to the fact
Traction moves you towards what you really want while distraction moves you further away. Being indistractable means striving to do what you say you will do.
All behaviors, both traction and distraction, are prompted by triggers, internal or external. The resulting action is either aligned with our broader intention (traction), or misaligned (distraction). Traction helps us accomplish goals, distraction leads us away from them.
Herbert A. Simon (1971): the wealth of information means... a poverty of attention.
Researchers tell us attention and focus are the raw materials of human creativity and flourishing. In the age of increased automation, the most sought-after jobs are those that require creative problem-solving, novel solutions, and the kind of human ingenuity that comes from focusing deeply on the task at hand.
Being indistractable means striving to do what you say you will do. Indistractable people are as honest with themselves as they are with others.
PART 1: MASTER INTERNAL TRIGGERS
Chapter 3: What Motivates Us Really?
Motivation is a desire to escape discomfort. Find the root causes of distraction rather than proximate ones.
For hundreds of years, we've believed that motivation is driven by reward and punishment.
Even if we think we're seeking pleasure, we're actually driven by the desire to free ourselves from the pain of wanting.
Epicurus: "By pleasure, we mean the absence of pain in the body and trouble in the soul" The drive to relieve discomfort is the root cause of all our behavior, while everything else is a proximate cause. If the behavior was previously effective at providing relief, we're likely to continue using it as a tool to escape discomfort.
Solely blaming a smartphone for causing distraction is just as flawed as blaming a pedometer for making someone climb too many stairs.
Unless we deal with eh root cause of our distraction, we'll continue to find ways to distract ourselves.
Distraction isn't about the distraction itself; rather, it's about how we respond to it.
Most people don't want to acknowledge the uncomfortable truth that distraction is always an unhealthy escape from reality. How we deal with uncomfortable internal triggers determines whether we pursue healthful acts of traction or self-defeating distractions.
Only by understanding our pain can we begin to control it and find better ways to deal with negative urges.
Anything that stops discomfort is potentially addictive, but that doesn't make it irresistible. If you know the drivers of your behavior, you can take steps to manage them.
Chapter 4: Time Management is Pain Management
Learn to deal with discomfort rather than attempting to escape it with distraction.
The motivation for distraction originates within us. Distraction is just another way our brains attempt to deal with pain. Therefore, the only way to handle distraction is by learning to handle discomfort. If distraction costs us time, then time management is pain management.
Four psychological factors make satisfaction temporary:
boredom. People prefer doing to thinking, even if what they're doing is so unpleasant that they would normally pay to avoid it.
negativity bias. negative events are more salient and demand attention more powerfully than neutral or positive events.
rumination: our tendency to keep thinking about bad experiences.
hedonic adaptation - the tendency to return quickly to a baseline level of satisfaction no matter what happens to us in life.
Dissatisfaction and discomfort dominate our brain's default state, but we can use them to motivate us instead of defeat us.
It's good to know that feeling bad isn't actually bad; it's exactly what survival of the fittest intended. Evolution favours dissatisfaction over contentment.
Chapter 5: Deal with Distraction from Within.
Stop trying to actively suppress urges – this only makes them stronger. Instead, observe and allow them to dissolve.
Why not simply fight our urges? Mental abstinence can backfire.
An endless cycle of resisting, ruminating, and finally giving in to the desire prepetuates the cycle and quite possibly drives many of our unwanted behaviors.
Certain desires can be modulated, it not completely mitigated, by how we think about our urges.
Chapter 6: Reimagine the Internal Trigger
While we can't control the feelings and thoughts that pop into our heads, we can control what we do with them.
By reimagining an uncomfortable internal trigger, we can disarm it.
Steps to handle intrusive thoughts:
Step 1. Look for the discomfort that precedes the distraction, focusing in on the internal trigger.
Step 2. Write down the trigger, whether you give in to the distraction or not. It takes some time to begin noticing those all-important inside triggers. The better we become noticing the behavior, the better we'll be managing it over time.
Step 3. Explore your sensations. Get curious about them.
Step 4. Beware of liminal moments. Those are transitions from one thing to the other throughout the day. Use the 10-minute rule technique: tell yourself that you'll wait at least 10 minutes before giving in to the urge. Surf the urge.
Look for the negative emotion preceding the distraction, write it down, and pay attention to the negative sensation with curiosity rather than contempt.
Chapter 7: Reimagine the Task
Bogost: "Fun turns out to be fun even if it doesn't involve much (or any) enjoyment."
By relinquishing our notions about what fun should feel like, we open up to seeing tasks in a new way.
Reimagining difficult work as fun could prove incredibly empowering.
Fun and play don't have to make us feel good per se; rather, they can be used as tools to keep us focused.
how do we find fun? By paying such a close attention that you find new challenges you didn't see before.
Turn it into play by paying ‘foolish, even absurd’ attention to it. Deliberately look for novelty.
Fun is looking for variability in something other people don't notice. it's breaking through boredom and monotony to discover its hidden beauty.
Remember: finding novelty is only possible when we give ourselves the time to focus intently on a task and look hard for the variability.
Chapter 8: Reimagine Your Temperament
Reimagining our temperament can help us manage our internal triggers.
We don't run out of willpower. Recent re-examination of the ego-depletion theory. Signs of ego depletion were observed only in those tests subjects who believed willpower was a limited resource. People who did not see willpower as a finite resource did not show signs of ego depletion.
What we say to ourselves matters. Addicts' belief regarding their powerlessness was just as significant in determining whether they would relapse after treatment as their level of physical dependence. Labelling yourself as having poor self-control actually leads to less self-control.
Practice self-compassion. People who are more self-compassionate experience a greater sense of wellbeing. Self-compassion makes people more resilient to letdowns by breaking the vicious cycle of stress that often accompanies failure.
PART 2: MAKE TIME FOR TRACTION
Chapter 9: Turn Your Values Into Time
Seneca: People are frugal in guarding their personal property; but as soon as it comes to squandering time, they are most wasteful of the one thing in which it is right to be stingy.
Instead of starting with WHAT we're going to do, we should begin with WHY we are going to do it.
Values are not end goals; they are guidelines for our actions.
The trouble is, we don't make time for our values.
Does your calendar reflect your values?
Without planning ahead it's impossible even to tell the difference between traction and distraction. You can't call something a distraction unless you know what it's distracting you from.
Timebox your day by creating a schedule template. Decide what you're going to do and when you're going to do it. The goal is to eliminate all the white space in your calendar, so you're left with a template for how you intend to spend your time each day. Keeping a timeboxed schedule is the only was to know if you're distracted. If you're not spending your time doing what you'd planned, you're off track.
Reflect and refine weekly.
Reflect. When in my schedule did I do what I said I would do and when did I get distracted?
Refine: Are there changes I can make to my calendar that will give me the time I need to better express my values?
Chapter 10: Control the Inputs, Not the Outcomes
Schedule time for yourself first. You're at the center of the three life domains. As with everything valuable, you require maintenance and care, which takes time.
Show up when you say you will. Never bail on appointments you make with yourself. You can;t alwasy control what you get out of time you spend, but you can control how much time you put into a task. Sleep, eat healthily, exercise, cultivate yourself.
Start by prioritising and time boxing 'You' time.
Input is much more certain than outcome. Plan the inputs and the outcome will follow. Making sure you allocate time to living your values is the only thing you should focus on.
Chapter 11: Schedule Time for Important Relationships
The people we love the most should not be content with getting whatever time is left over. Everyone benefits when we hold time on our schedule to live up to our values and do our share.
Go beyond scheduling date days with your significant other. Put domestic chores on your calendar to ensure an equitable split.
A lack of close friendships may be hazardous to your health. Unfortunately, the less time we invest in people, the easier it is to make do without them until one day it's too awkward to reconnect. This is how friendships die - they starve to death. Ensure you maintain important relationships by scheduling time for regular get-togethers.
Chapter 12: Sync Your Schedule With Stakeholders
Syncing your schedule with stakeholders at work is critical for making time for traction in your day. Without visibility of how your send your time, colleagues and managers are more likely to distract you with superfluous tasks.
Sync as frequently as your schedule changes.
PART 3: HACK BACK EXTERNAL TRIGGERS
Chapter 13: Ask the Critical Question
The ubiquity of external triggers makes them hard to ignore.
It's time to hack back - stop tech devices gain unauthorized access to our brains by prompting us to distract.
The social network embeds a social-validation feedback loop, exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology.
The Fogg Behaviour Model: for a behavior (B) to occur, three things must be present at the same time: Motivation (M), Ability (A) and a trigger (T). B=MAT
The more we respond to external triggers, the more we train our brain in a never-ending stimulus-response loop. We condition ourselves to respond instantly.
External triggers aren't always harmful. If an external trigger leads us to traction, it serves us.
Of each external trigger, ask: ‘Is this trigger serving me, or am I serving it?’ Does it lead to traction or distraction?
Chapter 14: Hack Back Work Interruptions
Interruptions lead to mistakes. You can't do your best work if you're frequently distracted.
Story: Becky Richards solving the medication-error problem: nurses dispensing medication wore bright colored vests to let others know they should not be interrupted.
Interruptions are pervasive in today's workplace. The misuse of space is often a contributing factor.
Defend your focus. Signal when you do not want to be interrupted.
Chapter 15: Hack Back Email
Email is perhaps the mother of all habit-forming products:
it provides variable rewards.
we have a strong tendency for reciprocity
email is a tool we have little choice but to use.
T (time spent on email) = n (number of messages) x t (time spent on each message)
Reduce the number of messages received.
To get fewer emails, send fewer emails.
You'd be amazed how many things become irrelevant when you give them a little time to breathe.
slow down and delay delivery.
eliminate unwanted messages
Processing your email in batches is much more efficient and less stress-inducing than checking it throughout the day
Spend less time on each message.
When you check email, tag each message with when it needs a reply and respond at a scheduled time.
Chapter 16: Hack Back Group Chat
Jason Fried: group chat is like being in an all-day meeting with random participants and no agenda.
Real-time communication channels should be used sparingly. Time spent communicating should not come at the cost of time spent concentrating.
Four basic rules for effectively managing group chat:
Use it like sauna - stay a while, but then get out
schedule it
be picky about who's invited into the conversation
use it selectively
When it comes to group chat, get in and out at scheduled times. Only involve who is necessary and don’t use it to think out loud.
Chapter 17: Hack Back Meetings
The primary objective of most meetings should be to gain consensus around a decision, not giving the meeting organizer a forum to hear themselves think.
Make it harder to call meetings. No agenda, no meeting.
Meetings are for consensus-building rather than problem-solving.
Be fully present.
Leave devices outside the conference room except for one laptop.
Chapter 18: Hack Back Your Smartphone
Remove the apps you no longer need.
Replace. For the apps that you don't consider removing (FB, Twitter), replace how and when you use them. Shift them to your desktop and set aside time in your calendar for using them instead of having them on your smartphone.
Rearrange. Now that you are left only with the critical mobile apps, it's time to make the phone less cluttered & less distracting.
3 groups of apps (Tony Stubblebine):
Primary tools: for defined regular tasks (eg riding apps)
Aspirations: things you want to spend more time doing (books, yoga etc)
Slot machines: apps that you open and get lost in
Keep only Primary Tools and Aspirations on your home screen.
Reclaim. Change notification settings for each app. Be very selective.
Use distracting apps on your desktop rather than your phone. Organise apps and manage notifications. Turn on ‘Do Not Disturb’.
Chapter 19: Hack Back Your Desktop
Desktop clutter takes a heavy psychological toll on your attention.
Turn off desktop notifications. Remove potential distractions from your workspace.
Removing unnecessary external triggers from our line of sight declutters our workspace and frees the mind to concentrate on what's really important.
Chapter 20: Hack Back Online Articles
Save online articles in Pocket to read or listen to at a scheduled time.
Use ‘multichannel multitasking’. As long as we're not required to concentrate too much on any one channel, we're able to do more than one thing at a time (e.g. walking and thinking)
Chapter 21: Hack Back Feeds
Feeds like the ones we scroll through on social media are designed to keep you engaged.
Use browser extensions that give you the benefits of social media without all the distractions. Examples: News Feed Eradicator for FB, Newsfeed Burner, Open Multiple Websites, DF Tube
By avoiding the feed, you're much more likely to use social media mindfully while still allowing time to connect with others proactively
PART 4: PREVENT DISTRACTIONS WITH PACTS
Chapter 22: The Power of Precommitments
Being indistractable not only requires keeping the distractions out. It also necessitates reining ourselves in.
The antidote to impulsiveness is forethought. Plan ahead for when you’re likely to get distracted. Precommitments reduce the likelihood of distractions.
Precommitments should only be used after the other three indistractable strategies have already been applied.
Chapter 23: Prevent Distraction with Effort Pacts
Use effort pacts to make unwanted behaviours more difficult.
Examples: Self Control App, Freedom, Forest, FocusMate
Adding a bit of effort forces us to ask if a distraction is worth it.
Chapter 24: Prevent Distraction With Price Pacts
Use a price pact to make getting distracted expensive.
Example: smokers who made a deposit at the start of their pact. It works because people are more motivated to avoid losses than to seek gains.
The amount - anything so that it hurts to lose the sum.
Pitfalls:
Price Pacts aren't good at changing behaviors with external triggers you can't escape
Pirce pacts should only be used for short tasks, otherwise it will be associated with punishment
Entering a price pact is scary
Price pacts aren't for people who beat themselves up. Learn self-compassion before entering a price pact.
Chapter 25: Prevent Distraction With Identity Pacts
One of the most effective ways to change our behavior is to change our identity
Our perception of who we are changes what we do.
Become a noun. By assigning yourself a moniker, you increase the likelihood of following through with behaviors consistent with what you call yourself.
"I can't" relates to the behavior. "I don't" says something about the person.
By aligning our behavior with our identity, we make choices based on who we believe we are.
Though conventional wisdom says our beliefs shape our behaviors, the opposite is also true.
Use identity pacts as a precommitment to a self-image. Call yourself ‘indistractable’.
Share with others. Teaching others solidifies your own commitment.
Adopt rituals. Repeating mantras, keeping a time-boxed schedule, or performing other routines, reinforces your identity and influences your future actions.
PART 5: HOW TO MAKE YOUR WORKPLACE INDISTRACTABLE
Chapter 26: Distraction Is a Sign of Dysfunction
Two particular conditions that predict a higher likelihood of developing depression at work:
Job Strain: environments where employees were expected to meet high expectations, yet lacked the ability to control the outcomes.
Effort-Reward Imbalance: workers don't see much reward be it through increased pay or recognition.
Technology is not the root cause of distraction at work. The problem goes much deeper.
Depression-like symptoms are painful. When people feel bad, they use distractions to avoid their pain and regain a sense of control.
The addition of technology to a corrosive culture makes things terrible.
An ‘always on’ culture drives people crazy. This is a vicious cycle: People here are always connected > Reducing control over one's time > To get ahead, I need to be always available > Increasing expectations to be always on > People here are always connected
Chapter 27: Fixing Distraction Is a Test for Company Culture
Companies consistently confuse the disease of bad culture with symptoms like tech overuse and high employee turnover.
Tech overuse at work is a symptom of dysfunctional company culture. The root cause is a culture lacking ‘psychological safety’.
Who is on the team matters less than how the team members interact, structure their work and view their contributions.
Psychological safety: knowing that your voice matters, and that you're not stuck in an uncaring, unchangeable machine, positively impacts wellbeing.
How to create psychological safety?
Frame the work as a learning problem, not an execution problem.
Acknowledge your own fallibility.
Model curiosity and ask a lot of questions.
Chapter 28: The Indistractable Workplace
Indistractable organisations foster psychological safety, provide a place for open discussions about concerns, and, most importantly, have leaders who exemplify the importance of doing focused work.
To create a culture that values doing focused work, start small and find ways to facilitate an open dialogue among colleagues about the problem.
PART 6: HOW TO RAISE INDISTRACTABLE CHILDREN (AND WHY WE ALL NEED PSYCHOLOGICAL NUTRIENTS)
Chapter 29: Avoid Convenient Excuses
As tempting as it can be, destroying a kid's digital device isn't helpful.
Parents don't need to believe tech is evil to help kids manage distraction.
Stop deflecting blame. When kids don't act like parents want them to, it's natural to look for answers that help parents divert responsibility.
Tech isn't evil. Used in the right way and in the right amounts, kids' tech use can be beneficial, while too much (or too little) can have slightly harmful effects.
Find the root causes of why children get distracted.
Teach them the four-part indistractable model.
Chapter 30: Understand Their Internal Triggers
Make sure children’s psychological needs are met.
Ryan/Deci model: to thrive, we need autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
Without these three components, kids could turn to distraction for psychological nourishment.
If kids don’t get their needs met in the real world, they look to fulfill them online.
Chapter 31: Make Time for Traction Together
Teach traction. With so many potential distractions in kids' lives, teaching them how to make time for traction is critical.
Just as with our time-boxed schedules, kids can learn how to make time for what's important to them.
Teach children to timebox their schedule. Let them make time for activities they enjoy, including time online.
Without a clear plan, many kids are left to make impulsive decisions that often involve digital distraction.
It's OK to let your kids fail.
Chapter 32: Help Them with External Triggers
Teach them to swim before they dive in.
Test for tech readiness. Show how to turn off external triggers on their digital devices.
Kids need sleep. Make sure nothing gets in the way of getting good rest.
Work with your children to remove unhelpful external triggers.
And don’t become a distracting external trigger yourself. Respect their time and don't interrupt them when they have scheduled time to focus on something, be that work or play.
Chapter 33: Teach Them to Make Their Own Pacts
Don't underestimate your child's ability to recommit and follow through.
Help your kids make pacts and make sure they know managing distraction is their responsibility.
Teach them that distraction is a solvable problem and that becoming indistractable is a lifelong skill.
PART 7: HOW TO HAVE INDISTRACTABLE RELATIONSHIPS
Chapter 34: Spread Social Antibodies Among Friends
Distraction in social situations can keep us from being fully present with important people in our lives.
Block the spread of unhealthy behaviors.
When someone uses a device in a social setting, ask ‘I see you’re on your phone. Is everything okay?’
Chapter 35: Be an Indistractable Lover
Remove devices from your bedroom and have the internet automatically turn off at a specific time.